changing heart.

I'm going to be very honest. This fact saddened my heart very much. When I had heard about Haiti, I did not wince in pain or compassion. I am selfish and prideful. I have not been following Philippians 2:3-4 I look at people around me who's hearts are heavy with sorrow for these people. I didn't get it. I guess I wanted to feel compassion for them, but I couldn't feel genuine compassion for them. I couldn't force myself. So I prayed. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to humble me. I researched some more about the earthquake... I saw a video. I saw people who looked paralyzed and bleeding. I saw some people yelling. I saw people holding each other because it was all they had. It all of a sudden became a reality that this really happened. What made it more shocking to me is that these are PEOPLE. People who were created in God's image just like me. I deserve that earthquake just as much as them. I don't want just a heavy heart, but as my friend said we need to act not just sit and let our bodies decay. I can't just sit at home comfortable with my ESV bible praying for myself. These people need Christ. They need hope. Some may even curse God's name, because they don't know the hope that Christ gives. I still have a lot of heart softening to go, but I praise God for his intentionality with the Holy Spirit. The people of Haiti are people like me. People who have suffered more than me. People who definitely need Christ like me. God soften my heart so that I can embrace them and mourn with them. Help me to let your name be known so that we may all praise you in the midst of suffering. Thank you Christ for what you accomplished. Change my heart and mold me like your Son.

An update.

I've been so far caught up with my verses but I need to start taking them to heart. I was reminded by a friend that I shouldn't just memorize but that I should also apply and remember why I'm memorizing. That reason is so that I may be closer to God's word when troubles roll over. I have to hold God's word near to me at all times.

I have been super thankful for my acountability with my "friend's" boyfriend who shares two initials with me haha. I pray my relationships with other people at church will grow and flourish so that we may see Christ with more clarity. I thank God for how he has been growing me when I ask and when I submit to his Holy Spirit. I pray that my worship will become more pure and proper so that my commitment to Christ will be sincere. Thanks for reading. And I ask for your prayers brothers and sisters.

E.J.

Fun Fact and a Story

okay but really I praise God for the way he created me. Our God is absolutely amazing.

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God there are so many things that go on in my life, but I will set it aside for you. The only reason why I'm setting it aside in the first place is because of the Holy Spirit moving me to it. Lord please become the central point of my life. Remove all fear, deceit, addiction, impurity, pride, selfishness from my life that I may be a light to my family my friends and to glorify you most of all. Lord I need you more than you need me infinitely. Oh Jesus Lord and Savior I give my self to you. For you in my atonement... you gave yourself for me. I own no other master...My heart shall be your throne. My life I give from now on I live for Christ only alone. God please let me sing this my whole life. I already see trials coming my way but I will hold on to this truth. Thank you Lord. Amen